UFC - Ultimate Front for Consumerism

I know it's been awhile since my last blog. I finally landed a part-time gig and so I've been a bit more busy as of late. Since I'm working now, this blog's title should really be something like Blog de Semi-Employment, but I don't want to change the URL and confuse all my readers, so the Blog de Unemployment it shall remain. In case you're wondering, I won't be blogging about my new job (good or bad) because I don't want the thought of them reading this to influence what I write and it's not that exciting anyway. On to more exciting things...

So the other weekend I had the pleasure of attending a UFC viewing party and seeing this "bloodsport" for the first time. I must admit I was a bit disappointed and even dismayed at how this once-illegal sport has become the hip new way to plug one's business and/or product. There were logos everywhere, even on the fighter's shorts. The next time I want to order condoms online, I know exactly where I'm going because this company's brand is indelibly etched in my mind after seeing it on every other fighter's ass: CondomDepot.com. One winning fighter even used his victory speech to proposition Donald Trump, who was sitting in the audience, to sponsor him because there was "plenty of room" left on his shorts. If he really wanted to make some dough, I thought, there was also a lot of virgin skin on which to put a nice, big Donald Trump tattoo.

I thought I was going to see a bloody, no-holds-barred battle to the (almost) death. Instead it seems that this sport has tamed its early "no rules" stance with a million and one rules (weight classes, timed rounds, etc.) that make the events more palatable (and profitable) for sponsors and pay-per-view stations. Surely this has made the sport safer and increasingly popular, but I would say also all the more bland and corporate. I was hoping for blood, guts and excitement and instead I came away with an unconscious yearning to drink Bud Light and buy a Harley-Davidson.

Smells like senior spirit

Why are old people so cute? On Wednesdays there's a "Senior Fitness" class at my gym. Rain or shine, these same seniors are there and they always arrive promptly half-an-hour to 45 minutes early for the class. I was in the aerobics room today where the class is held and had the pleasure to observe a few of these venerable citizens.

Apparently it was one gentleman's 94th birthday and several of the ladies brought brownies and balloons in celebration. Wearing grey trousers with a semi-transparent button-up shirt (he was kind enough to pair it with an undershirt), he shuffled across the room carrying a Zach Morris-style cordless phone (does it work? I wondered) and a fuzzy blue cardigan sweater that I at first mistook for a blanket. As increasingly more ladies entered the room bearing with them goodies and gifts he exclaimed, "Happy Birthday to me!" Later I peeked into their class and watched him do toe pointing exercises to rag-time music with the other seniors and I couldn't help but think how adorable he was.

Of course, many people might say that calling old people "cute" and "adorable" is demeaning and somewhat ageist. However, would it be ageist if I were to say that children are cute and/or adorable (even though I would have to disagree)? Just wondering.

Also, I did a quick Google search for "old people are cute" and I found out I'm not the only one who thinks this way...

Old People Can Be So Super Cute (an anecdote about some older people and "the Internets")

Cute Old People (another old person anecdote about an elderly couple and their car alarm)

Cute Old People Dancing in Barcelona (A YouTube video of some senior citizens dancing to a Spanish Frank Sinatra sound-alike - I love the gentleman in the suit jacket dancing by himself!)